Feeling Yucky?

          Have you ever had a time when you just felt yucky? There's nothing wrong, it's just a feeling. I find this to be a problem on an emotional level. Sub-consciencely  we  feel as if something is going to happen, some kind of big change in life which we may not be comfortable with. When I dig deep into this feeling thats what I find, an uncomfortable feeling. So, this is what I did. I prayed to God to let this pass. I then analyzed the day, the feeling, what do I think is upcoming, why? Well, a lot of it is personal. The main point of sharing this is the solution, not my insanity,lol. We are constantly growing in life. For me, it's with the Lord. He has plans for me and the devil is waiting to attack this will for me. Certain times in life, I'm not used to. Family is something new for me. Growing up I was always quiet and to myself, trying to be the perfect kid, as per my dad and mom. Now that I'm near family, they do things that I am not accustomed to. Some of these events I feel I am not worthy to be involved with. This is the mind talking, not the real Jay who is alive with Christ. You see, Christ and knowing His Word bring me out of this funk. All I have to do is recognize these moments and call out to Him. I am grateful that God even allows me to be aware of these times. Before, I would drink them away with a passion. I didn't want to face the reality that I had distanced myself from everyone. Now, I have a few beers and it just isn't the same anymore. I see this change in me and so does my ex wife. Well, we now know why she is an ex, me. So, now that I don't escape to beer, I'm now left alone in my own mind on how to deal with life as it is presented to me. I look to the Lord and He provides all I need, and that is the very family and friends I would hide from all those years. This morning, I called my ex-wife and an ex-girlfriend. I called to just talk. I had the best time of my life. We are truly connected by a love only God could provide. The respect is still there. The relationship may of happened because we were both lonely, but it was not meant to be. We were meant to love each other the way we are doing it now. A time to learn what TRUE LOVE is. The love that Jesus wants us to know. It took heartache to learn this, but wow. I am so grateful for the chance to learn this instead of going through life hurting those around me and being hurt by the very same people I tried to love in my own way. It's not my, it's Gods way and I better start listening if I want to bask in His Glory, here on earth and in HIs kingdom. May I also add that writing your thoughts out really helps. It works just the same as calling that loved one. The only problem with the call is that you must ,first, make sure that they understand that they are to be a wall to bounce off your thoughts of the day. A sounding board for you to get it off your chest. Don't be afraid to share. This sharing will increase your amount of love toward others because you will have developed a sense of trust. I know, man is hard to trust, and rightly so. Man will always let you down, if you let them. It's your expectations of them that let you down, it's not really them. We put so much emphasis on others, that we don't look our own way. In improving ourselves, they get better also because we have a different outlook on life. We now see life with the eyes of God, with His love. Now, because I have shared, the devil will try to attack me